As Mignon McLaughlin suggests:
“a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”.
Although marriage is not exactly a science, but all the married couples right after getting married intentionally and unintentionally start looking for signs whether this marriage will last or not. A strong marriage is based on a strong foundation. You only have to look for signs to educate yourself in strengthening this bond with each other.
Although the two of you took the right time to make the decision of getting married and you thought you have got everything to make it through. But the real struggle starts after getting into this serious relationship. After the two of you start living with each other as a married couple. Because this is the time when the reality sets in and the two of you have your first argument, this is the time it hits you that this isn’t just a piece of cake and your spouse is not as perfect as you wanted him to be.
In the beginning, you might give your spouse the benefit of doubt, but with time all of this might get harder and harder to stay connected to each other. You start to question yourself whether you made the right decision to get married or not or should i file for a divorce. But remember a healthy marriage needs a lot of work and you two need to learn to appreciate each other instead of looking at the negative experiences.
Make communication easy for each other
One thing you need to learn if you want to make the marriage work is to learn the art of communication. Not only is telling talking to your spouse important but also listening to them and trying to understand what he wants to say is equally important. Allow your spouse to make conversations. After the initial few years, the communication between the two of you might be limited to a minimum. Try to keep this conversation alive. Talk to them about your daily routine, ask them about what they did the whole day. Each day you will get to explore more about each other. You need to stop just thinking about yourself and give importance to the opinion of your spouse also to make this work.
Also Read: 10 Most Common Problems in Marriage
Learn to resolve your arguments
Every marriage faces arguments and disagreements. Fights are an integral part of your marriage. You need to make these arguments of keeping you more involved in each other instead of keeping you apart. There is no way to avoid an argument. And don’t even try to avoid it. You just need to keep your calm. Try to stay quiet when the other person is talking, try to listen to their side of the story. You will also have a say but first, allow the air to clear. Arguing intensively at the same time would only make things worse. Wait for the right time and then speak your heart out to your spouse when they are actually willing to listen.
Another thing you need to focus is never to shelve your arguments and never sleep on your fights. Try to talk them out before you two go to sleep. Believe me, the longer an argument lingers, the harder it will be to try to resolve it between the two of you.
Invest your time in the relationship
Try to spend more time with each other. Make time for each other. Try to learn about each other. Don’t let the romance between you to die. You still need to plan candlelight dinners, surprise each other and try to make your spouse feel the real need for you. Don’t only try to keep yourself happy but you need to keep the needs of your partner into consideration.
Also Read: 26 Simple Marriage Advice for Women
Stop being overly optimistic about the relationship
Nobody is perfect and not even is anybody’s marriage. Stop being overly optimistic and stop expecting the other person to deliver their 100% all the time. There might be days when you don’t want to communicate with each other and you just want to argue for no reason. It’s ok, this happens with everyone. Just don’t set your expectations too high just be realistic about your marriage. You both might feel the same way. Try to accept your faults and give space to your spouse. Be the first one to accept their imperfections and try to maintain your private space. You need this private space or else you will lose yourself. And this loss might mean you losing the real spark between your marriage.
Give importance to your sex life
Your sex life is extremely important when it comes to holding your marriage. You need to learn the likes and dislikes of your partner. You not only need to know to keep your partner happy. You might not always be in the mood for sex, try to be open about it, let your partner know. And even when you want to be intimate, there is no harm in expressing yourself. The only thing which can ruin your marriage is if you two hold things back and are not open about your feelings.
Note Read: Second Marriage Problems
Exchange gifts more often
Initial days of your marriage can be very interesting both of you are in the phase of exploring each other and getting to know each other. But some time later, all this charm might fade away. Try to exchange more gifts, make every moment special and make the best out of every moment. Try to cherish the moment by celebrating every everything. The first time you met, your spouse had a good day at the office or if you achieved something special. Try to make the most out of everything.
Also, Read Marriage Advice: Learn Before Leaping
Try to focus on the reasons for “why you married?”
Before you start to reason that it’s time to end your marriage, think of the reason you two got married. The more you think about this reason, the more it will help you feel the importance of your relationship and how much this marriage means to you. This is all you need to remember. Try to focus on the positive aspects of your marriage instead of letting the negative thought to hover up your minds.
Must Read: 9 Powerful Secrets To Have A Happy Marriage